I got choked up this morning listening to the song “Show You The Way To Go,” by The Jacksons. There’s something about these old songs from my childhood (especially Michael Jackson’s) that touches me deeply. I guess the time I spent with a childhood friend last weekend is responsible for me being in this state of heightened awareness. She opened up to me revealing many things about her childhood and her current emotional state that, in turn, opened me up. It seems that I can feel again, which is something I welcome. I hadn’t realized how much I’ve cut myself off from people… from feeling… from expressing. I’ve justified it by saying that I don’t want to spread my negative energy. For the most part I love being alone with my thoughts. However, I do realize that too much isolation can be dangerous. Human interaction is as important as breathing, so we must make an effort to connect. Not just with anyone either. I think if we listen close enough our spirit will whisper whether or not to connect with someone. I’m so happy I decided to listen to mine that day when I reached out to her on Facebook.
The only person that I connect with on a deep level is my oldest sister. When in pain I simply retreat to my inner world and deal with it alone or chat with her about whatever is dancing around in my head. Like most people I tend to suppress extreme emotions for the sake of coping. It may just be that the key to healing is feeling. We must welcome our suffering (perhaps we should stop referring to it as suffering). It’s simply a temporary condition of the mind, right? I’ve written many times on this blog that if we want growth and maturity we must feel our pain… sit in it… and at times share it with someone we trust. I am so honored that she decided to share her pain with me. I will cherish our friendship and I can’t wait to communicate with her on deeper levels.
This gland is your gland, this gland is my gland.
Endocrine glands secrete hormones into the bloodstream. These chemical messengers have specialized tasks in the body and control a myriad of bodily functions, including sleep, growth, sexual development, metabolism, tissue repair and more. Glands can become weakened by stress, a poor diet, chemicals in our food and air, and many other factors.
“Very many people go through their whole lives having no real sense of what their talents may be…”
I have yet to pinpoint why I’ve been shying away from posting anything. It’s been more than two months since my last post. Some creative types push the idea that one should always be in a constant state of production… even if you’re not feeling it you should always produce something. On such days I used to start my journal entries with words describing my hesitation, and surprisingly something magical would kick in where I would simply write what came to mind, completely unfiltered.
I think my hesitation with writing on this here blog may stem from my decision to share the web address with a few friends of mine. Exposing your inner most thoughts takes courage. I never wanted this blog to be something I had to work at. I simply wanted a place where I could come to lay down my thoughts, without worry of being misunderstood or any of those unhealthy thoughts that stifle creativity.
Regardless, I must create space for my spirit, a place where I can roam freely without boundaries, worry or hesitation. Like most people, I’ve got a lot on my plate right now… which is okay. I definitely see that I must revisit my personal constitution to add something that deals with difficult decision-making. Should I head back to graduate school where I can write and continue down the path of exploration and understanding… dive back into the world of entrepreneurship… or should I simply keep rotting away in the confinements of my 9 to 5. I can hear an old mentor of mine in my ear right now saying that I should start by not calling the decision-making difficult.
I spent time alone this past Saturday which helped quiet my mind. I spend way too much time upstairs. I need to get out of my head for a while and start looking for ways to help others. And when it’s time for me to make a decision I’ll know it. Trusting and acting on my instincts was something I did quit often at one point in my life. Perhaps it’s time to revisit the practice.