I have yet to pinpoint why I’ve been shying away from posting anything. It’s been more than two months since my last post. Some creative types push the idea that one should always be in a constant state of production… even if you’re not feeling it you should always produce something. On such days I used to start my journal entries with words describing my hesitation, and surprisingly something magical would kick in where I would simply write what came to mind, completely unfiltered.
I think my hesitation with writing on this here blog may stem from my decision to share the web address with a few friends of mine. Exposing your inner most thoughts takes courage. I never wanted this blog to be something I had to work at. I simply wanted a place where I could come to lay down my thoughts, without worry of being misunderstood or any of those unhealthy thoughts that stifle creativity.
Regardless, I must create space for my spirit, a place where I can roam freely without boundaries, worry or hesitation. Like most people, I’ve got a lot on my plate right now… which is okay. I definitely see that I must revisit my personal constitution to add something that deals with difficult decision-making. Should I head back to graduate school where I can write and continue down the path of exploration and understanding… dive back into the world of entrepreneurship… or should I simply keep rotting away in the confinements of my 9 to 5. I can hear an old mentor of mine in my ear right now saying that I should start by not calling the decision-making difficult.
I spent time alone this past Saturday which helped quiet my mind. I spend way too much time upstairs. I need to get out of my head for a while and start looking for ways to help others. And when it’s time for me to make a decision I’ll know it. Trusting and acting on my instincts was something I did quit often at one point in my life. Perhaps it’s time to revisit the practice.