Pulling My Own Strings

Today is the 10th day of 2013… another day to produce what I want in life. Produce is the operative word, here. No matter what, at the end of our day/week/year/life, some kind of result will be produced. The question is will the end result be what we envisioned. Whether you subscribe to some kind of fate/destiny philosophy or you believe we are solely responsible for where we end up in life, no one wants to think that outside forces control us. When things don’t work out in our lives, it seems to be common practice for us to place blame on circumstances, events, responsibilities, obligations, etc. Yes, those things do impede our progress toward our goals or in some cases redirect us. But ultimately, it is US who actually navigate the terrain. It is us who put ourselves back on point. We are responsible for assessing how far we’ve been blown off course and ultimately we are responsible for making the necessary adjustments. Our thoughts/inner dialogue, actions, words are all responsible for guiding us in particular directions. We’re at the helm, right? Well then why in the FUCK am I having a hard time moving toward my goals?

One thing for sure, I must commit them to paper and look at it each day to make sure my daily actions are in alignment. I’ve got the road map in my head, so I am aware of what it is I must do. The problem I’m having is finding the motivation to perform each specific task. I spend more time thinking about the journey and where I want to go than actually doing the necessary things I must do to get there. Simply do the very things I want to do each day. Like what’s taking place right now. I’m sitting in a chair putting down these here words. I want to become a writer… no, I must say, “I AM A WRITER!” So, I must write. Everyday! Yes, I’m physically and mentally exhausted, and fearful of the outcome, but I still must write. An article I read about 10 years ago mentioned that most people wait until they feel some sort of emotional well being before taking action… the author argued that ACTION is the actual key for emotional well being. The psychologist who was being interviewed in the article stated that he experiences extreme anxiety just from the thought of flying in an airplane. If he had waited to feel well enough to fly he would have missed out on the opportunity to teach four months out of the year in Japan. “What I had to do is buy a ticket and physically get on the plane,” he said. What I’m admitting here is that I allow my physical and emotional state dictate what I do each day. I sat around last night feeling anxious about getting things done. Yes, I need down time because balance is very important. I believe it was Maya Angelou who said that down time is just as important as up time. Where do I find the motivation during such moments?

I’m not even sure how I can test whether or not I’m still riding that wave of inspiration I hit last month. It sure doesn’t feel like it. Someone once told me that our sole purpose each day is to find inspiration. I’m lucky that I’m not too far from Inspiration Bay, a spot I recently found where I can sit out on the dock to bare witness to one of the most beautiful creatures of the sea. It would be nice if I could jump in to play with her every once in a while, but I’m happy to simply have her in my site. I’m lucky to be in the presence of her sheer beauty, even if all I’m doing is… “ Sittin’ on the dock of the bay…” ok, I couldn’t resist. Yes, indeed, the site of her inspires me.

So, once inspiration kicks in everything else falls into place, well, ideally but we know it isn’t that easy. I felt very inspired yesterday after watching the movie Django, so maybe I am riding a wave. You’re probably wondering, how can a movie about slavery, inspire me.

So, dude! All you have to do each day is do you! I love that commercial, although he didn’t say quite like that but you get the point. What did Cicero say, “The skill to do come from the doing,” right? He was actually referring to learning new things, but I’d like to apply it to this here point. Stagnation is a dangerous game to play. Reaching our goals comes from the DOING… not sitting around thinking about the life you want, hoping that some outside force will come along to make things happen for you… that I’m afraid will have you sitting on your death bed with regrets, bitter and angry about the world not being fair. Yes, there are injustices and there are people who are simply handed opportunities when there are those who spend a life time holding onto gifts and talents with no opportunity to present them to the world. They go through life knocking on doors waiting for doorkeepers to see value in who they are and what they have to present. I never understood why the packaging is far more important than the gift itself. It seems that people are conditioned to think outside packaging represents the interior content. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve come across who have had countless doors open for them but has done nothing with the opportunities. Now that doesn’t seem fair. Well, fuck the doorkeeper! There are many other ways to walk through doors of opportunity. Yes, it may be difficult to open, but nonetheless they CAN be opened, even without help from those in power.

Just do, dude! Keep preparing. Keep sharpening that axe. I love the quote from Abe Lincoln, “If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend the first four hours sharpening the axe.”